Funny Email - Dog Letter to God
Here is a funny email that we got from a friend…at least humans think it’s funny, I’m still trying to decide, what do you think?
Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the “Chrysler Eagle” the “Chrysler Beagle”?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
- The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
- I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the he house - not after.
- I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
- The cat is not a ’squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.
Okay, so humans think these things are pretty funny, ’cause my owners were laughing, but they seem like normal questions and things to me.
This is so cute! I was laughing so hard the tears came. Thanks, Aspen, for sharing!
Glad you liked it….I had saved it a while back, and can’t remember whether it came from one of the Diva friends my owner has or not? But we laughed, too, I wanted to put some on that were in the letter, but my owner thought they were a little too…well, not cute enough:-)
Oh, this was too funny - especially if you are a dog owner and every one of this has happened to you!
Pixel would like to add one question for God, please: Can I bring my toys when I come?
Tell Pixel that if they are allowed to bring toys, there’s a really old tattered and raggedy bunny that will be coming along with me…I’m inseparable from my little bunny that I’ve had from birth, I think it’s in one of my pictures somewhere on this blog…it’s been washed more times than I can tell you, and needs a bath right now…as a matter of fact, so do I,